Navigating Thanksgiving Conundrums and Unveiling the Shadows of Antisemitism
“Can I really not put butter in the mashed potatoes?”
My daughter (@liamakesfood) is preparing our Thanksgiving meal and she is frustrated. No, she cannot put butter in the potatoes. We keep a kosher kitchen and do not mix dairy with meat or poultry. She has to resort to “butter-flavored spreads” and says, “believe me, I can definitely believe it’s not butter.”
I am a secular Jew. Growing up we ate bacon, clams and, on special occasions, lobster. I remember the delicious hot ham and cheese sandwiches from the vending machine at Echo Bowling Alley. In retrospect, any sandwiches served in a vending machine probably aren’t safe for human consumption.
I have kept a kosher home for years. We have a separate set of dishes for dairy and meat. You won’t find shellfish in my house. We only buy kosher meat. At restaurants I eat mainly vegetarian. Occasionally I order a steak but that usually happens in Vegas😉.
Here are the fundamental kosher rules for those who may not know. The word kosher in Hebrew means “fit.” The dietary laws originated in the Book of Exodus. The basics:
The kosher diet is similar to the halal diet practiced by Muslims, based on Islamic law. Both regulate the method of slaughtering animals and pork is prohibited in both. Halal diets, however, do not have rules regarding the pairing of dairy and meat.
Why keep kosher in a nonkosher life?
It is not for health reasons – kosher cooking can be loaded with fat and sodium. It is not for social reasons – none of my close friends follow kosher laws. If anything, it separates me from others. It’s not always fun to be the only one who doesn’t get a burger when out to dinner with friends, and can be uncomfortable to tell people what they can or cannot bring into your kitchen.
Keeping kosher is a conscious choice. It can be a hassle if you are not living in a Jewish enclave like New York City or Melbourne. In Milwaukee kosher meat is expensive and hard to find. Kudos to Trader Joe’s for supporting us. How easy it would be to pick up a rotisserie chicken at the supermarket. Yes, that butter burger is tempting. And of course there are dark times when I question everything. I associate old habits with bad luck and want to abandon it all - especially now.
People may find it hypocritical to pick and choose religious observances. I do not see religion as all or nothing. The rich cultural aspects of Judaism are magnificent to me, the dogma not so much.
My motivation for keeping kosher is spiritual. Keeping kosher provides insight to my culture and my priorities. My kids may complain about the hassle of kosher but I really believe they appreciate it. It adds a level of mindfulness to eating. There are many traditional foods that resonate as “Jewish” and I make them, in celebration of family traditions (stuffed cabbage, cholent, hamentashen, kugel and more). Ancient customs are preserved - tradition! Kosher meat is slaughtered in a manner that minimizes suffering. Keeping kosher is a thread in the fabric of my identity as a Jew.
So all the sides to our turkey will be dairy-free. We had to go to four different stores to find cream-free cream, but I have no doubt our meal will be delicious.
Shifting gears…You know I do not shy away from the elephant in the room…
In last November’s Israeli election, I cast my vote for Meretz. Unfortunately, they did not secure a place in the government. Instead, a right-wing, male-dominated government, led by Benjamin Netanyahu, came to power.
In January of this year I participated in a protest in Tel Aviv against the Netanyahu government and its proposed judicial reforms. Hundreds of thousands of people gathered in the streets, calling for democracy.
I felt a sense of pride for my country. When a friend asked about going the next week, I thought, “Do we do this again?” Israelis kept protesting week after week, until six weeks ago. The country was on the brink of a civil war, facing one of its most challenging periods.
Until October 7th.
Hamas terrorists attacked. They intentionally perpetrated heinous acts, including rape, torture, and burning of innocent civilians and soldiers. The scale of the tragedy in a country the size of Israel, with 1400 innocent victims killed and hundreds taken hostage, is impossible to grasp. The orders to harm Jews, coupled with complete disregard for women and children, draw comparisons to historical atrocities like the Holocaust and the pogroms in Europe.
No country would tolerate such acts committed against their citizens.
Know who the enemy is in this scenario. It is crucial to distinguish between the actions of a terrorist organization like Hamas and the broader groups of Jews or Palestinians.
I am grateful my father, who survived Hitler’s concentration camps, is not here to witness this. He always felt the world was against the Jews. I wrote that off as an old-fashioned diaspora way of thinking. After all, I lived in Israel for much of my life. Watching the unprecedented degree of antisemitism now, prompted by a response to a brutal attack on people simply because they are Jewish, I think he may have been right all along.
With hopes for better times,
Dr. Annie K.
First of all, Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you for your newsletter, in these days we are all looking for something to read or see that will take our minds away, even for a moment, from the daily news and all the deaths resulting from this war. There was one particular thought you conveyed that I have also felt, and wrote in a FB post on my father’s Yarzheit, that I am glad he and my mother are not here to witness the atrocities, the attacks, the war and all the hardships and sorrow it has brought and I think I agree with your father’s thoughts. Thank you for sharing.