My playlist makes me cry. Even the happy songs like “Love Potion Number Nine,” “Dancing in the Moonlight,” and “All About That Bass.”
I am constantly on the verge of crying - not because I am sad but because I am emotional. I have always been like this but lately the feeling is creeping closer to the surface.
Humans are the only species who cry when they are emotional. Crying is one of the most common and universally recognized forms of expression used to share emotions. Charles Darwin declared emotional tears “purposeless” and now, decades later we are trying to understand this mystery of the human body.
The limbic system is the part of the brain involved in emotional responses. Tears from emotions, known as psychic tears, contain stress hormones like cortisol, prolactin and endogenous opioids. Release of these hormones and endorphins help control both physical and emotional pain. Reflex tears, common when cutting an onion, are less sticky and lack the components of psychic tears.
There are fascinating studies on the “display rules” of different countries regarding expression of emotion. Crying occurs more frequently in democratic countries, where there is greater wealth and freedom of political expression. One study showed subjects from Great Britain cried more frequently than Israelis and that women cried more intently and frequently than men. In general, happier countries reported more expressions of crying. A German study showed people who do not cry are more withdrawn, less connected and may have more anger.
Why do we cry?
Crying functions to self-regulate our feelings by decreasing tension. It also helps us communicate and bond with one another. It shows our vulnerability.
Crying can also be an expression of the opposite of sadness, tears of joy (TOJ). Research about TOJ has been scant until recently. The strong emotion felt (joy) is manifested through an expressive mode that refers to a different emotional state (sadness, pain). The current hypothesis is that TOJ perform a regulatory function - when individuals are overwhelmed with feelings, they respond through an opposite emotion to compensate for the excess.
Research has differentiated four types of TOJ:
1. Affectionate tears when experiencing intense love or unexpected kindness. I cry at every wedding.
2. Achievement tears in the context of extraordinary performance, like when my team won the Super Bowl. A friend told me today that the only time he shed a tear was when Chelsea won the Champions League final in soccer.
3. Beauty tears in response to scenery or a piece of music, also called tears of awe, like when I first saw Angkor Wat. A flower, homegrown vegetable, the moon - so many opportunities for tears of awe.
4. Amusement tears, crying during a fit of laughter. This happens so often, especially when I am with my sister.
These past few months have been a roller coaster of joy and sadness. Laughing and crying are the same release - both have served me well.
This year our family is honoring Thanksgiving in a country that does not celebrate. Too easy! The turkey had to be special-ordered but otherwise there is no stress. There are plentiful amounts of all the traditional foods and no lines in the supermarket. So what if it is hard to find sweetened condensed milk here? Or graham crackers? We can improvise.
Quoting Charlie Brown, “What if today, we were just grateful for everything?”
Have a delicious week,
Dr. Annie K.