Are You a Tradwife?
I am not but I want one
There are days like today when I feel compelled to write. Today I do not feel like I am teetering on the edge of death. Lately I wonder if this will be the day, but not today. There is no sharp pain or deep ache. The weather is cold; 29°F (-3°C). But the roads are clear. I can walk. There is only one light on my car dashboard signaling a problem, rather than several. So today is a good day.
Days like this lead me to reflect. Are there more tradwives out there or are they simply gravitating towards me? Most discussions about traditional wives focus on the younger generation, but I am talking about the older one. We are the ones who read Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique and figured it out. This groundbreaking book, published in 1963, challenged the traditional roles of women in American society, particularly the idea that women should find fulfillment solely through homemaking and motherhood. Thanks to this societal revolution my gmom had a degree and a career. My parents’ marriage was anything but traditional.
Lately I am overwhelmed by the number of women I encounter in a gender-stereotyped division of labor. This is not a critique—just an observation. These are my dearest friends and I mean no disrespect, but I am baffled.
These women are the ones cooking, cleaning, helping with homework, arranging babysitters or dog walkers, managing household logistics, and making all the reservations. If guests are coming over they handle the invitations, the planning and the preparations. On occasion they are fortunate if their partner helps with cleanup, or shopping if provided with a detailed list. They often sit down to meals only after their whole family is well fed. Their lives are a constant whirlwind—running errands in yoga leggings, tackling the mundane—but always racing home by six to have dinner ready.
I love this tradwife…
Perhaps because I am terminally ill I think about this shit. I find it fascinating how entrenched patriarchal roles have become. So many women are doing it all—without their partners in sight.
I see it both in the States and in my home in Israel.
They are shouldering the jobs that no one else wants to do. They feel that it works. These women like control over things and suspect the partner will mess it up, put the whites with the colors, for example, or pack the wrong stuff. Women do not notice it or do not question it. But I think very few would repeat this pattern if they had any idea what life could be like.
Maybe I am jealous and want a tradwife myself.
It feels like Groundhog Day around here.
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I stumbled upon this note to myself about 2025. It is simple, honest and everything I need right now. Maybe it will resonate with you…
The “bring a bathing suit everywhere” one was from Mom! M&Ds relationship was not traditional- mom was ahead of her time. Thank you for this article- maybe it’s not too late for me 🤨
I love orgasm hygge and bring a bathing suit wherever you go! Great advice Anne!